Oh my......talk about changes......car spinning.....something smashed....sirens and then the limitation of not being able to do anything for myself. So how much do I appreciate life now? 2 more long months to go to regain my freedoms and normal life. I never thought anything would be this hard. To break down in tears because I can not do things for myself. Didn't they know I hate asking for help? Why would they make me this way. I always believed everything happens for a reason, but on this one I am still struggling to figure out what I am to learn of this. I suppose I have always had a respect for life. But it is more so now....especially now that I can't get down and dirty and have sex...but seriously I thought I had been through enough with dysfunctional families and such...I suppose my toll has yet to be paid for some reason. I just know that I am frustrated and not making the best of this time I have on my hands. I finally moved away from my parents, established myself as an individual human being, and someone deemed it fit to take that away. Ok so I must be bitter. I feel like I am sick of myself, and the constant babying from people who nag and have made me a helpless child in my own home. It is this feeling though that my own company isn't enough. It is rather disturbing I guess, feeling trapped in myself. I mean I have always liked who I am. It is just that being forced to sit with my thoughts more than usual makes me question more and more who I am which I avoid many times.