No kittie! That's a bad kittie!

The cat is meowing again, that sickening whiny meow like a baby. Ah roommates and their flaws. I'm going up to Berkeley tonight for a mini concert. Only band I know of is Dealership but I assume the others will be good or at least tolerable. I'm not quite sure how I am going to fair until one in the morning when it ends. I am hoping my party pooper self stays away tonight. I think I'm gonna get drunk on red bull before I go.

Work was rather fun today. My friend and I volunteered to clean the kitchen that our 50 some odd employees use. We got to throw everything away in the fridges which I was super gleeful about. Quite the lame one, I am. Candi managed to knock, the now full of fridge yuckies, garbage can over all over the floor. We were busting up so hard we were crying over spilt garbage. Within a few minutes we had a crowd in the doorway laughing too. Oh it was a site to see. Proof that too much work results in delerium. On the same note one of my co-workers was on a call with a client who farted. And much to our comic relief he had it on tape. We laughed over that for quite awhile...and I am bragging about this...sigh

Homesickyness

I woke up this morning longing for my mother's touch during the holidays. Every year she spends about a week dragging out the Christmas paraphernalia and sprinkling holiday warmth all over our house with nativity scenes, holly and ivy on most surfaces, and miniature decorated trees in each room. She takes small mirrors and surrounds them with cotton, making little ice skating ponds with figures. I would always tease her and in addition, taking for granted the work she put into making our house a real "home" full of spirit for my dad, her and I. She goes all out and makes our house feel like a house should during the holidays: warm, inviting, smells of pine in the air, apple cider and a book and a blanket in front of a fire. All these images were floating around in my head this morning. When I went to visit my parents for Thanksgiving in their new home, she had started the decorating there. I felt slightly out of place looking around at the lights; this wasn't the house I was used to and it didn't seem like the familiar feeling I get around Christmas. I do have some decorations which I need to put out and at least give some sort of holiday glow to my room. I suppose its up to me now to surround myself in something that gets me in the holiday mood. As November is now turning into December, it is really sinking in that the things I was used to for the first 22 years of my life just won't ever be the same. I will be visiting them for Christmas and I am sure things will be lovely and warm, but it can never be how it was. I've been told by friends that eventually you get used to being independent and the home sickness wears away. I just hope I don't forget how special it was growing up in such a loving home, created with such care.

And so now I sit at work, reminiscing and listening to John Denver and the Muppets: A Christmas Together. I feel like wallowing a bit.

So true, don't ask how I know

People can be witty over IM. People can be charming over IM. People can not be hot over IM. "I can tell by your clever use of italics and your intermittent 'lol'ing that you have a nice ass." Hey buddy - those yellow happy faces may be cute, but they're not quite accurate.

An excerpt from 100 things you should know about college at College Humor.

Keep track of your money, literally

So I just went to Jamba Juice to grab a smoothie and upon getting change noticed one of my bills was stamped. I vaguely recall that defacing money is illegal but I digress. The bill says, "Where has this bill been? Where will it go next? Please enter the serial # at Wheres George. I am sorta skeptical. Anyone know if I have reason to be? The site looks interesting enough. Just some nice person who set up a free site so you can see all the places the dollar has been and recieve updates through email on where it has gone next. I have yet to enter my bills due to paranoia that this is somehow a scheme lurking under an innocent guise. So I would like some other sucker...I mean er..um..daring, adventurous person to do it first and let me know if is safe. No there are no rewards or prizes other than my trust and respect. I bet you are all going to scurry off and do it now.

Bathroom shy

The scenario is that there are exactly 20 women in my office including me. The women's restroom has 2 stalls. Every day, all day long, at any given time, at least one of these women will be in the restroom. I do not understand how this relates to the laws of physics or bladders. I can count the number of times that the bathroom has been empty upon my arrival on my fingers; that is how low it is. The reason this sucks is that I am too shy to go to the bathroom when someone else is in there. I wasn't like this before, and I don't know what sparked it, but I am seeking solutions and/or therapy... The other sucky part is that being the whiner I am, I mentioned this dilemma to a few people at work. Bad idea. So now everyone teases me and will deliberately follow me to the bathroom. This is rather disturbing when you consider the implications and intentions of people who want to hear you go to the bathroom. Any plausible solutions or suggestions?

Music TV? You are kidding right?

I got the goods this weekend finally after suffering withdrawal from MTV. But it isn't even entertaining anymore. I guess it hasn't been for awhile. All that is on is Rap, R&B and Shakira. I am so sick of that girl's video and I have only had access for 3 days. Did they lose all their Aguilera/Spears/Simpson/NSync tapes? Scarily enough I am praying Britney will come on. What is the message here? Yes Shakira is attractive, but the song and lyrics are horrid, as is the video. She shakes her hips and butt and talks about her breasts being small or something. She crawls in mud and does some more provocative dancing. I just don't get it and apparently MTV assumed I wouldn't get it, so they play it every hour on the hour to help me understand. Bastards.

Harass me too then

I can't believe something like this can get you in trouble like this with the Secret Service.

Noise infested morning

In addition to the cat meowing its head off this morning, even though we left it outside to avoid this annoying awakening...yes we are mean roommates...a helicopter came into our neighborhood around 6:30. As I got ready I kept hearing it get closer and than farther away. I started to think of why it would be hovering around for so long. Maybe someone robbed a store and is on the run. Maybe there was a bad accident and they have to life the people out by helicopter. Maybe it is reporting traffic on the freeway. This is scary. Maybe a terrorist act has happened and they are doing aerial surveillance. For almost an hour and a half that helicopter hovered nearby and I remained in a fascinated panicky state. I left the house and was ever so thrilled that my car had iced over and I had to spray it down, and there, among nearby trees I saw the helicopter suspended in mid-air. As I pulled out of the driveway and neared the location I noticed it was over the Home Depot that is being built. For a moment I thought maybe the rescue theory was right, until I noticed the large block hanging from a rope on the bottom of the chopper. They were using it to help them build. At 6:30 in the morning. I was less than thrilled...nothing exciting ever happens anymore...actually I think I prefer it that way.

To quote?

Who came up with the expression "Cool Beans"? I say that all the time and it really doesn't make much sense. What does it really mean? The beans were hot? Beans are cool in general? To have ones beans cooled is a good thing?

I'd like to be, under the sea

Whenever I used to say, "I'm bored," my mother would always reply, "Only boring people are bored." Now everytime I say that, I hear my mother's nagging little voice in my ear. I'm not boring! It's just that even when I have stuff to do I still feel bored. I am not in an excited state or anticipating something cool. Most times I am at home, avoiding reading, tv, video games, and lacking friends to talk/hang out with you. It is almost as if I prefer to whine about how bored I am rather than actually do something. Pretty pathetic. And in other related patheticness my mind is all hazy and this is all I can think about for the moment. Actually I do sound pretty boring. Disregard all previous info.

Say Wha?

So I go in the fridge to get a glass of milk at my parent's house to go with a heavenly scented piece of pie...and all they have is WHOLE MILK! Who actually drinks that still? Who are these people and where are my real health freak parents? I am literally in shock. You think you know someone, especially your parents and then they go and do the absurd and unheard of.

As for the rest of my weekend...hmm let's recap. I left work at 2pm to make the 3 hour trek down toward Fresno and then up toward Yosemite to the boonies where my parents have chosen to reside in their retirement. The drive took 5 hours...in the dark...in the rain...with a million other people, moving along at 2 car lengths per 10 minute time span. It was nice and windy over the pass which is always a thrill trying to get the car to stick to a wet road around turns with "gusty winds for the next 10 miles." Whee! Joy! So after that long in the car, I felt like Homer in that episode where he falls asleep and his car turns into a bed and he is draggin along a fence behind him.

I have to say that Thanksgiving was quiet and pleasant. We stuffed ourselves and then drove to the next boonie town over and wandered around the only store open, Rite-Aid for an hour and a half. My parents don't get out much as they found this super exciting and proceeded to drag me down each aisle, oohing and aahing over what can fairly be called "crap." It was sadly amusing to me that they have such gusto for Rite-Aid. My Dad, being the kid that he is, wanted to go see Monsters Inc and was excited to use me as an excuse, his partner in crime as he affectionately calls me. We had our pick of any seat in the theater that sat maybe 30 people tops. No surround sound or THX here folks. The rents enjoyed the film, as did I the second time around...and the cutest part is that both Mom and Dad were all teary at the end. That is so cute to me for some reason.

Today we boutiqued and antiqued the Christmas paraphernalia, watched The Grinch with Jim Carrey, and now I am bored, as I was last night. Pretty much once the sun goes down there isn't much to do, save for watch TV or movies and play on the internet. I brought books but I am just not motivated to read. I could go to bed but I'm not tired. Basically I am craving to do all the things I know that are impossible to do right now. I want my PS2. I want to go to a club. I want to run out for coffee. I think the closest thing open right now would be down in Fresno, a 30 minute drive. At least I am trekking back tomorrow and will becomforted by familiarities. I love my parents and get homesick, but once I am here I get homesick for my place. That whole grass is always greener deal. I do not like the boonies...I much prefer Goonies. I do not like them Sam I am........um yeah I've lost it...It must be bedtime... Hope ya'll had a nice holiday.

Thankfulness

As I was driving to work today the holiday really hit me and I know what I am most thankful for. There was an ambulance driving with its sirens and lights on going the opposite way on the freeway in the exact location I crashed in April. I started to tear up a little and noticed my knuckles were white since my grip on the wheel had intensified. This has happened before. A month ago I was on my way to Berkeley to wander around Telegraph, and I ran into a bit of traffic. The cause finally became visible. A new VW Passat was lying upside down on a small bridge over the streets below. There were no paramedics there yet, not police or any officials. I was in the far lane, tempted to pull over and help or at least comfort the person in the car...and then I lost it. I had a small panic attack and started to shake and cry profusely. I could barely see the road as hot tears flooded my eyes and cheeks. Luckily I had the boy to calm me down, as I could see the nervousness in his eyes that this nerve-wracked girl was behind the wheel, driving, doing what she most feared at that moment.

I am thankful that I am alive. I am thankful I have fully recovered and have my health. And I am also thankful to love and be loved by family and friends.

In my short drive this morning I did a lot of reflecting. There was a girl in high school that I was friends with. I met her in summer school before my sophmore year as she was going to be a freshman and she became more than an aquaintence but not quite a best friend. Karen was the kind of girl who didn't really have a group. She flitted back and forth between people and remained friends with everyone, bridging gaps between cliques. Karen was friends with the "popular group," the normal kids, the nerds, the trenchcoat hill people, the music geeks. You could see all these different parts to her. She just had this glow about her, like she knew the secret. She knew how to be happy and share that with everyone. You were lucky to be friends with Karen. Her presense was quiet and gentle but she never lacked friendliness or a smile. She always seemed to know how to make someone feel better. She truly cared for people and was as selfless as a person can be. There aren't many people out there that have such qualities and are as genuine. As we went through high school our friendship faded but we always kept in touch and hung out once in awhile. I didn't hear as much from her when I graduated as things between us had drifted apart.

Awhile back at the local coffee shop in my high school town I overheard a conversation between the co-workers about a funeral. I heard the name Karen. I asked which Karen it was and found out it was my Karen. Apparantly Karen had fallen ill rather suddenly. The doctors weren't sure what was wrong with her and couldn't get a proper diagnoses. She fell into a coma and there was little chance she would live or if she did there would be severe brain damage. Eventually it was determined she had spinal menegitis. She passed away and with her passed that special light she had touched so many people with. The coffee girls said that the turnout at her funeral was huge. All those people had wanted to say goodbye to such a special person who had managed to touch everyones life. I wish I had the chance to tell her how much she meant to me and to so many others. I think she knew somehow that what she did in befriending people meant much more.

I am saddened that she is no longer with us and in light of the holiday realize how fortunate it is that I am.

I'm gonna toss cookies

This is not art in my book in any way.
Link snagged from Jill

Ah the not so joyous youth of America

Went to see Weezer last night with Jimmy Eat World and Tenacious D. Before I give the scoop on the show I must share the excitement first.

I MET MARIA! She has been a long time online friend of the boy and I but we haven't ever met up. So last night while standing in line, who should appear before our eyes? A miniature sleigh....No! Maria! So she is as cool as I thought and it was super duper rad and very surreal to actually meet someone who I thought lived only in the computer. She is a real life person and she is funny and fantastical and kept yelling at ogres blocking the view in front of us.

The actual concert....hmmm..I do not like being around 16 yr olds who don't wear deodarant and are loud and obnoxious and too tall to see around. Jimmy Eat World was awesome and I really like their sound and energy on the stage. Tenacious D...I couldn't see the whole time but I heard he was funny up there. Problem is I only like the Wonderboy song. Everything else they do I can't take seriously, as their lyrics are straight from the "potty humor" section. I just was sorta grossed out and not that impressed. I don't like the fuck her softly song, nor hearing cocksucker and anus in any song...that is just me. I am not a prude but I prefer more fun and upbeat music. I guess I am not that weird. Weezer was awesome! I like seeing a band perform live although they don't move around much they had a few killer lines. Like after the first song he says, " Thanks biotches." They are just very straight performers which is I guess their nerdy characteristic appeal. Any who I would have prefered a seat over tip toeing the whole time to see over people. I suppose going to a concert requires that perfect excited mood. I was too pooped out from Disneyland and not mentally geared for a concert I think. Oh well I still have Tori.

Yeah baby

Drivers who aren't me suck

I doubted my vision before, knowing I am obligated by my driver's license to wear my nerd glasses otherwise everything is semi-fuzzy. But I have now realized that my vision is inherently better than many many people who I share the freeway with daily. See all these people have failed to notice that car pool means MORE THAN ONE PERSON in the car. Either that or they can't make out the hours. Lately I would say 99% of the people speeding down the carpool lane are idiots who don't follow the rules. This pisses me off immensely as I am too chicken of astronomical fines from our local friendly policemen, and apparently these people are thrillseekers...or visually challenged. Either way I am now the self proclaimed bestest driver ever! Minus the car accident...and the fender bender...oh yeah and that time I spun out...ok disregard all that and just blindly believe I am the bestest driver ever.

Must wake up, must wake up

I am so tired and worn out...but the weekend was so fun! The weather was nice and the parks weren't very crowded and as expected Disney gives off that excited little kid feeling...oh yeah, they also give off that I just walked for 12 hours straight and my feet and thighs hurt and are going to fall off and I get to do it all over again because I never come here and gosh darn it I am going to enjoy myself even if I can't walk for the next few days without gimping it. So it was fun!

And I saw Harry Potter last night! Yay! It was really good and exactly what I imagined while reading the books. I loved the music too...I was waiting for credits, betting on Danny Elfman or John Williams, of which it was the latter. Does it remind anyone else of Batman? It sounds like some other theme but I can't place it. Anywho the film was excellent and really exciting and intriguing and excellently cast.
I was sorta dissapointed I didn't get to see Amelie...I had mapped out directions to a theater in LA that had it and we drove to see it thursday but yahoo maps failed me as the theater was no where to be found. The directions were totally wrong and there isn' anywhere nearby home that has it...boo hoo...

Whoo hoo

It's time to go! Amber you just got off work...what are you going to do?
Amber replies, "I'm going to Disneyland!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Well after I wash the car, dye the hair, pack my crap, and sleep. THEN....I'm going to Disneyland!!!

Aawww pooey

I jinxed myself with all this wonderful day bragging. I just spilt my lunch all over the floor in the kitchen, proving once again I am klutzy. Off to get yucky food...

Oh but wait...I have pigtails...ha ha ha. It IS funny. Seriously, it is funny.

And she talks to glasses

I think saying I am slightly excited about leaving for Disneyland tomorrow is an understatement. This morning as I cheerfully wandered around the house while the rest of the bay area groggily stumbled out of bed I had Pirates of the Caribbean on the brain. As I proceeded to put a few glasses in the cupboard I lost it and started talking out loud, "Aarrgghh mateys, get ye glasses back to the cupboard." Yeah...just a little too excited.
I also am dying my hair tonight and didn't want to have to shower hair products out before dying to then get in shower again and rinse dye...only hair dyers relate, so I went for pigtails, which considering I have shoulder length hair look really funny. So I am sitting at work in green dickie overalls with pigtails feeling like a 5 year old that mommy dressed up, or even worse...an older rejected Olsen twin. Oooo the horror.

Today seems really good so far...the sun was shining and everything is in its right place. I came into work and realized someone had taped all my hi-liters together with a whole roll of tape which took me about 10 minutes to finally undo. The natural reaction ensued...I wanted revenge (playful revenge that is.) So I consulted with the local office instigator who helps in these dire times of need, as we play pranks a lot at work...and um yeah...we work too...we do! I swear.
So revenge today was pretty sweet...I ripped small pieces of paper and taped them over all the keys on his keyboard. Then I proceeded to write the alphabet in order over all the keys. Hehe, his face was sorta shocked and amused when he came in. Then he told me an old co-worker stopped by yesterday while I was gone and he was the one who taped my hi-liters...Oops...But come on it was a good prank.

Today is bad, tomorrow will be worse

I know, so negative. It is always this way when I am waiting for an event; time goes into slow motion and everything is dreary and boring. I am sitting hear drinking Mountain Dew to stay awake and its normal wonders are failing me. I thought wearing my yellow british print Docs would cheer me up today but they've backed out on me too. I have busy work to do but no motivation, influenced by the laziness of my co-workers as well. I've been playing yahoo pool but I am now burnt out and my online buddies aren't around to chitty chat. I would read but if we aren't staring at the computer it looks like we aren't working...if only they knew. I bought The Tin Drum awhile back and am dying to read it. Holocaust movies, books, documentaries and such fascinate me. And no I am not morbid. Well I do work here...maybe I am...

Cheesey fun

Number of physicians in the US: 700,000.

Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year: 120,000.

Accidental deaths per physician.... 0.171 (U.S. Dept. of Health & Human Services)

Number of gun owners in the US: 80,000,000.

Number of accidental gun deaths per year (all age groups) 1,500.

Accidental deaths per gun owner: 0.0000188

Statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.

"FACT: Not everyone has a gun, but everyone has at least one Doctor."
Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We must ban doctors before this gets out of hand. As a Public Health Measure, I have withheld the statistics on Lawyers for fear that the shock could cause people to seek medical aid.

Aspiring photographer

Yeah I know...with a title like that you are expecting pics and I promise them soon. The digital camera has inspired this awareness of simplistic visuals around me that are now fascinating...like anything to do with the sky and fog and rain lately, misty layers rolling in like a blanket. I am thinking like a camera lately and therefore appear as a tourist, camera in hand with sunglasses and a fanny pack ready to go. Maybe not to the extreme... I am so tempted to take pictures while driving but have submitted to better judgement and refrained ...I am going picture crazy but I need to figure out photoshop to make smaller files so I can host and post more efficiently...
I'm starting to think about a photojournal too...I feel all foolishly artst fartsy passionate.

Way too funny for your own good

10 Tips for Women Who's Ascared
of Getting Stuck With A Loser

Sorta suits me

According to the personality test I am a

HEALER
(Submissive Extrovert Concrete Feeler )
Like just 9% of the population you are a HEALER (SECF)-- caring, good with people, and patient. You are completely selfless and full of love. As a concrete feeler, you do well with your emotions, which are very strong. You understand and appreciate *why* you feel the way you do, and for the most part you're at peace with yourself.

Suffering in the world really pisses you off.

In relationships, it's easy for you to get hurt. Avoid all kinds of dominant (D***) people, *especially* in dating or marriage. You are a motherly figure, even if you're a guy. If you're a girl, make sure you're a mom some day. The world's children need people like you. If you're a guy, don't even think about it. Most pedophiles are HEALERS.

On the rare occasions when you try to assert yourself, you're cute and awkward, but highly effective.

I'd have to say it is pretty accurate...I am fond of the last bit...cute and awkward...but they forgot klutzy...I would hope it is endearing though...like in What Dreams May Come when Annie stumbles walking down the aisle on the wedding day...that is so Amber. So what are ya'll?

Maybe/Maybe Not

Life is a game and True Love is a trophy...I think I am starting to like Rufus Wainwright He opened for Tori and he was pretty good...very nice presence and his music spoke for itself. He, like Tori is a very passionate singer and you can feel his music through his voice and lyrics.

Tori was just awesome...the show was amazing. The woman can play one keyboard, while reaching blindly behind her and playing the grand with her other hand. Amazing...no words or way to explain how incredible the show was last night. The mood and lighting was beautiful, yet didn't distract from her. I felt like she was so focused and involved in her music that she had blocked the audience out...like we were witnessing this heartfelt performance as voyeurs. The woman oozes passion.

Whoo hoo

I am going to see Tori in a few hours and.......drum roll.....I bought a Digital Camera.....Fujifilm 2600 with 3X Optical zoom...so awesome and I haven't ever had a good camera...I felt the need to splurdge for my Disney trip coming up this week...I am so stoked and so bragging..Here is me in my Nerd Glasses

Yay for weekends

Right about now I am desperately looking forward to the end of the work week. Anywho this weekend promises to be eventful. Tonight we are going to see The Man Who Wasn't There followed by a friend's party tonight. I am going to catch a WTO Protest in the bay area tomorrow, as the boy and are learning more and more about why they are evil and sadly most people go, "WTO? What is that?" And yet another party of a friend saturday night...I am not a party girl I swear. I drink lightly here and there...just for some reason there are parties this weekend. I can still count all the parties (if you can call them that) on my fingers. Go Amber you big party animal. Sunday I am catching up with a friend who just got back from Hawaii and we get to have quality girl time, gossip included. And sunday night I get to go see Tori Amos. Whoo hoo! I am stoked...Oh yeah...I plan on doing boring laundry and cleaning too...if there is time. Gotta have my priorities straight after all. All I want right now is some tylenol and a nap. Nothing could beat that out at this moment.

Poor Prince Charles

Attacked by flowers

Should I or shouldn't I

I have been wanting this tattoo since 96 when I first saw it. However I have not yet mustered up the guts to go do it because I keep thinking I might regret it later in life. So for 5 years now I have gone with friends to get tattoos and sat in contemplation, biting my nails, on the verge of getting the tattoo, and always chickening out. I want it on my right shoulderblade and the picture I have at home was from an art class is a lot more detailed and focused. I am so torn on wanting this but being afraid of becoming a wrinkly old woman someday who is embarrassed of her little pixie tattoo whim...well 5 years isn't a whim...I want it so bad! But will I regret it? Gggrrr! I am impossible.

Listless

My office is depressing. There is no sunshine. All the blinds are drawn, leaving me in perpetual fake light and thoughts of darkness enshrouding the building outside. My eyes are slowly fading into florescent lighted spheres. I am numb and feel disoriented. Things are blurry and concentration is impossible. I feel like I am floating somehow and I can't anchor my mind down to my body. The chair seems to be sprouting vines, intertwining into my flesh and making me part of the surroundings. My fingers welded to the keys, eyes transfixed on the screen, the weight of drudgery on my shoulders. No one seems to take notice that work is slowly killing me.

More than meets the eye

Now this is a Halloween costume

The adventures of...

I have been rollerblading now almost every weekday. This is what happens when I go rollerblading almost everytime:

Body: No! No! Not again! Why do you torture me so?
Brain: Body, we do this every day. You should be used to it by now.
Body: It hurts still. This sucks.
Brain: Well the more you do this the easier it will get.
Body: No! I want immediate gratification. (Big words for Body)
Brain: You need to have patience. You are going to love yourself more in the end.
Body: Immediate gratification!
Brain: We are doing this every day whether you like it or not. You need to get in shape.
Body: Why do I have to do what you say?
Brain: Because I am in charge.
Body: I hate you Brain!
Brain: There, there. Shut up Body.

Riddle

What is greater than God, More evil than the devil,
The poor have it, The rich need it, And if you eat it, you'll die?

10 thousand Whose Line points to the first person who gets it

Tee hee

All About Sharks

Game Dork

I am so excited because Ecco the Dolphin is coming to PS2. This game was so cool and more girly on Sega and now they are updating the Dreamcast one for PS2. I am also thinking of snagging Simpsons Road Rage and Okage. Normally, Simpson games suck and don't do justice to the greatness of the show. This one had potential however in the stylings of Crazy Taxi. And Okage is said to be Tim Burtonesque and more of an "easy play."I sadly admit I am not the best dorkiest gamer around so easier games are easier on my feeble mind. I feel like Rex in Toy Story 2 when he says something to the effect of, "My arms are too short. I can't hit jump and fire at the same time" Well maybe not the arms part...or maybe that is it...after all i do have freakishly small midget hands as Maria would say. So where to buy...I am dissapointed with Fry's stock lately. Who has the biggest bestest video game selection? You know, cuz I really need to be spending more money on things I so desperately don't need.

Um-kay

Why would you do this when you obviously have a ton of money?

I am the Secret Secret-Master

Ok well not anymore I suppose...I am stuck between a rock and hard place to be cliche. One of my roommates works at a "nice" homeless shelter and has taken a fancy to a gentleman who is 10 yrs her senior(she is 22.) So this homeless guy who is her client, has been over my house on friday and sunday and now last night. She can get fired for dating him, not to mention she has no clue about what this guy is really like. He has a curfew of 7:30 which I thought was good...BUT he can leave at 2 am. So guess what I hear at 2:15 last night, waking me out of slumber. Her and said guy giggling and going to her room.

The catch here is that our other roommate does not know this guy is homeless. He thinks that she just works with him and started dating him. If he did know he would freak out and give her crap and not let him in our house most likely. Here is where I became the secret keeper. She told me the truth and told me not to tell my roommate. Sigh...

I don't know how to handle this because I feel uncomfortable with this guy being in my house. I feel insecure about my safety and I hate to judge because he could be a nice guy, but yet I can't stop feeling paranoid. I am worried about her safety too, and if nothing else that he may hold her job over her. Worst fear is that she will let him mooch and move in. How do I tell her who she can and can't hang out with or have over. I mean she pays rent too.

My main concern here is for my roommate. She is a cute girl, very smart and well read, super funny and really cool to be around. I think she can do way better and it concerns me that she has picked this guy. Someone who doesn't have much to offer really that I can see. He doesn't really come-off as her type and unfortunately my little mind has labled him as white trash. Not to mention she is young and in school and he is 10 yrs older with not much in common. I want her to be happy though ultimately.

So now I don't know if I should tell her I feel uncomfortable, or if I should spill the beans to my other roommate and clue him in. If he finds out I knew and didn't tell him, he will feel like he can't trust me with important things going on in our house. Yet if I tell him then I betray her trust. I feel icky about all this. I used to think my living situation was perfect before friday. Help me?

Creepy singing child

This singing child is just too creepy, and yet really amusing.

Yucky Mondays

I suppose there is no way around monday because if you eliminated it, then whatever day you finally go back to work would feel like Monday, or whatever name you call that day. Maybe we should just eliminate work alltogether. Besides we are only productive Tuesday-Thursday. Monday is spent recovering from the weekend and Friday is spent anticipating the weekend. I digress...
I saw Monsters Inc on friday. We had to go to the 11 o clock show since all others were sold out. This worked so well for me because I don't really like movie watching with a ton of misbehaved children. I am one of those people who wants complete concentration on the movie with no crying, screaming, running the aisles, loud popcorn munching, ringing cell phones/beepers, talking on cell phones (this is the worst overall), kicking my chair, or innappropriate laughter at non funny jokes. Yes I am picky. So the movie was really really cute/funny/witty. I was dissapointed in Shrek (thought the story was too easy, there wasn't much challenge/journey and the jokes weren't that funny; I had hyped it up so much and was anticipating it and just didn't get what I expected) and was worried that this latest CG movie wouldn't meet up to par. It did and surpassed. I was giggling like crazy and was even touched to tears at certain parts, as was the boy, and no he isn't a wimpy sappy boyfriend who cries at everything, therefore the tears were well deserved. Pixar definately has a good track record going in my eyes. Plus there is a short called For the Birds which I have adored for the last year that finally aired before Monsters. Maybe I am on a roll and will actually like the movies I go see now.

The Happiest Place on Earth

I am going to Disneyland the weekend after next(15-19)! Yay! Yay! Yay! For those of you like my boy who have not been to Disneyland, it is somewhere you have to go to understand how great and happy it really is. I am so excited to take the boy. See Disneyland was sorta geared toward little kids, but it is one of those little kid things that is still cool no matter how old you are. You hold hands there and giggle and run to the next ride and everything is exciting and wonderous(slightly over-commercialized but eh what are you going to do). There are amazing fireworkds everynight and for a short period of time you regain, what feels like, your childhood. Not to mention that all the employees are super happy and nice. It is sorta refreshing compared to retail drones who hate their jobs. And there is no litter in Disneyland. I don't know how they do it but the streets are generally immaculate. My secret theory is there are little tiny gnomes who run out and gather trash so quickly you don't see them. So we are going to Disneyland for 2 fun-filled days and 3 starry nights...along with 2 days allotted for driving and I am so thrilled I can hardly wait.

Tonight in the Bay Area

Tonight the boy and I are going to see Hans von Sponeck talk about peace in Iraq. Seems sorta interesting and I have been feeling politically naive lately so here is a step.

Slap me silly

I have been having one of THOSE days. And weeks...actually about 3 weeks now. I am over stressed and I don't know why. This is round two of living on my own and it used to be that my parents were the root of my stress. I have been in my current place now since Sept 1st and feel closer and better about my parents now. Heck I even miss them and get homesick now. My job is semi-stressful lately but not enough to warrant the way I have been.

Example: There are a few people at work, who when addressing issues at a meeting or talking to me one on one, produce this phrase in my head, "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" as I feel my fingernails digging into my palms, forcing me to keep my thoughts in my head and not let them hit my lips. This mantra repeats over and over until they finally do stop blabbering.

I feel over irritated by so many things lately and it carries over into me dropping things, running into things and messing things up, followed by the expected cussing in frustration at the situation. I don't know how or when I got to be like this. Normally I am perky and happy and optimistic. I think I need to go back to kickboxing to vent my stress on the punching bag, but I need to wait until december for my pelvis to be ok.

Most people get upset when they feel they have no control over events in their life. And I am (was?) a strong believer that no matter what you have control over your attitude. You can be a martyr and fall into self pity, or you can slap a smile on and try to actively solve problems and make things better. Lately I just feel like I can't control myself. I always try to think before reacting or saying something I will regret, but I can't remember how to breathe and calm myself anymore. I am feeling at a loss on ideas in how to shrug off my current status as a self loathing bitchy girl. Maybe it is just that I am justified in thinking there are too many stupid people out there annoying me. Show me how to mute the world.

Randomisms

Stupid thoughts

• Burger King had/has Halloween Simpsons Light up toys but I only found 5 of the 15
  
• It is impossible to find a recent picture of Peter Billingsley, the little Ralphie boy from Christmas Story
  
• Budgeting and trying to save money is not easy, it is in fact, very very hard (duh)
  
• Fat People are Harder to Kidnap (my new bumper sticker which is not PC at all)
  
• My fish tried to nibble my hand off the other day when I was fixing their plant...hence fish always think they are hungry and will eat food until they burst...they are not smart
  
• A frog can throw up his stomach and then scoops the contents out with its front legs
  
• I apparently have no life...er rather... I do not work when I should be
  

For shits and giggles

This is the funniest take on Eminem, Dre and Snoop's songs. The Dear Girl one cracks me up time after time.

So sleepy...need caffeine

Last night was so awesome. Castro was packed and the costumes were so creative and elaborate. I got the biggest dose of drag queens and have realized gay men are super duper skilled with costumes. And the most unoriginal outfit idea...50 million britney spears/catholic school girl wannabes who then had the nerve to complain, "Ew guys are being so gross and rude." Um...what did they expect with their boobs and asses hanging out. Then there was the other oh so tiny chested and shocked and surprised girl who had tape in Xs over her nipples. She was irritated that people came up to her. Gee imagine that. The best costume I saw was a lady who had made a huge shirt and her face was poking out the middle with huge fake arms cradled around her head, remniscent of Geena Davis in Beetlejuice. There was also this huge robot costume guy with his girl in matching garb that was really impressive. Can't wait to scan see see all those guys in drag.