You

I remember you, the boy I never knew. You hid your black book away, but all you secrets spilled out one day. You thought I was naive and that I'd never leave, but I'm doing better now than ever and it didn't take that long to grieve. I didn't know you were playing wicked games, I never got the rules, you tried to push me down and make me another one of your sad melodramatic fools. Things are different now babe, if you gave me your heart I'd toss it aside. Bottom line you need to learn is this girl has way too much pride. I better not see you face come around anymore; the only greeting you'll be receiving is the slam of the door. I'm not your baby girl like I was before, and if you finally are going to shed a few tears go back to the arms of one of your precious whores. Your persistent calls are unwelcome, your pleas and attempts unrecognized. You only want what you'll never have so stop your pathetic tries. You practiced all your lies through your plastic smile, told me what I wanted to hear, enticing me to stay awhile. Well this girl is seeing clearly now boy, your performance deserves applause, but your kitty won't be purring for you anymore, she’s ready to attack, she’s already bared her claws. Put your tail between your legs and run away like the dog you are. When people ask what’s left of you I'll point to my heart and show them this insignificant scar. You thought you broke my spirits and left me here to die, so let’s leave it at goodbye; I've no more tears left to cry.

A bored day of transferring emotion to paper

Your teeth scrape against my bones, tearing away my flesh, my delicate skin, leaving me naked and vulnerable, shivering, a skeleton with a half intact heart, its rhythmic beating slowing by the minute. Every time I let you in the pain is exactly what I expect. An eternal optimist turned pessimist in matters only pertaining to you. Ever since I met you everything seems to have paled in comparison to what I thought you were offering me, to what I thought you could give me. Like Narcissus drawn to a mirror, your image takes precedence over the love I so uselessly try to give you. My summer feels like winter without you. It rains everyday you give me false hope, like a storm cloud that has settled over me to mock me, constantly taunting me with what I wanted but couldn’t have. I've found sunshine elsewhere but it just isn’t as bright. Your fire left me burnt and scorched to my core but I felt alive, with a hunger just to be next to you. I willed myself to let you in time after time, needing to let you fill me up after it seemed that every ounce of you had finally drained from me. It's sick in a way but I'm addicted to letting you devour me whole.

Simplicity

I've neglected you for quite some time. My nicotine addiction is the drama I wallow in. Drama masks other issues. Deeper issues that are beyond fixing. Issues with no solution, at least not pleasant ones. Solutions that close in on me like malicious walls thirsty to suffocate me. Emotional hurt that no one ever warned me about somehow took hold of my life. My mom always told me to only care as much as the other person cares. Like one has control over feelings. Like the elusive on/off switch exists and is easily accessible. And I wonder if I could be blissfully happy without conflict, without confusion, without self imposed obstacles.
Simplicity- so true to definition. You offerings are of equal comparison to myself, unselfish, sincere. I'm staring through my peephole. Unsure if I should open the door of opportunity. Hesitant of the unknown, history telling me I crave complexity. My sensible mind telling me this is what I deserve. My heart, ever unphased, lacking memory of previous aches, not quite agreeing so eagerly. At some point I took too literally the phrase, “Something worth having is something worth fighting for." Perhaps we get a break once in awhile and we receive an effortless gift. I'm not quite sure if the door says to push or pull. I sigh deeply and lean, hoping for temporary support. I want to breathe easy.
So simplicity, I resolve to this: take my hand and gently guide me, let me lead you at times or give me the satisfaction of thinking I am leading. Be patient with me and amuse my expectations as best you can. I have never been one to intimately know simple. But I'm willing to take a few steps, open the door with conviction and begin a journey, an expedition with you simplicity. I surrender just don't let me glance back at familiar complication.