Halloween costume hint #3

It is not a specific character from anything, but rather a general costume.

PS. Remember it is girly and involves wearing a dress. Thanks for amusing me and guessing :)

Damn that drill

I think the sound of the dentist drill alone is what scares me and makes me think it hurts worse than it does. It is like that nails on the chalkboard type feeling. (Shudders) The dentist I saw yesterday in part 2 of my fillings was really good though. He managed to numb my face utterly and totally better than anyone has and therefore I drooled on myself when I had to rinse and spit...and then proceeded to drool the next 4 hours. My roommate and I were rather delerious because she kept asking me to smile, since only half my face was capable of smiling. I think we were drunk at this point.

Halloween costume hint #2

I am going to wear a dress type costume.

Self Promo

I was thinking that I would start a site to post some poetry that I wrote. Granted some of these I don't like and some of them I really do...but I figure it is something semi creative and since I find it inappropriate to post my crack whore adventures I'm posting something that I did in more productive times. Besides I like sharing this sort of artsy mumbo jumbo. So without further ado I present ShortcakesPoetry. It needs some work and granted there is only one post...yeah...I suck.

Short story of my life

I am so tore up lately now that I am officially on my own and my parents/grandparents have moved 3 hours away. So now I am pondering what to do about the situation with my biological mom. My grandparents have played the role of parents to me since I was 5. My mom was around but was into drugs and partying and sleeping around. I suppose she just didn't grow out of the teen years and having me at 19 wasn't the best idea, but hey I am here so it wasn't all bad.

In 7th grade I decided that being around her wasn't good for me and told her I didn't want to visit her anymore. At the time I was living with my biological dad who I met when I was 9 and lived with until I was 12. He was nasty and typical redneck trash and my stepmom was even worse...no therapy but the abuse could have entailed someone professional to help out. So from the latter part of 8th grade until last year I lived with my grandparents and they have done everything possible for me.

BUT...the inevitable but...my grandparents' love is very CONDITIONAL. In recent years, being I am of forgiving nature, I really want to try to have a relationship with my mom. I found out I have a half brother I have never met, and lately I find myself craving more family. I am between a rock and a hard place so to say though. Granted my grandparents have moved away and it would be harder for them to find out...but if my mom wanted to be spiteful she could find a way to let them know I have betrayed them.

See the condition is that if I want to have a relationship with my mom, my grandparents will not have one with me ever again. They say that it would be spitting in their face by going back to someone they tried to keep me away from for so long, that I chose to block out of my life. I have talked with them numerous times on the issue, trying to explain that I won't feel whole or have my closure until I find out how she is and see if I might be able to establish some semi-functional relationship with her.

I always thought I could handle not seeing my dad's or mom's side of the family. I have always had my grandparents to count on. They have supported me and taken care of me and gone above and beyond in nurturing me into a young lady. I worked through a lot of the more abusive issues and low self esteem I had when I was younger. It is just now that I am sorta a grown up, I really miss that mother/daughter friendship. My grandparents are rather young (early 60s and act younger than that) but what I remember of my mom when she was "all there"...it was a like a big fun sister. I really don't know how to handle this. In gaining my mom, I lose the 2 people I really have and love in my life. Besides I risk that my mom is someone I really don't want anything to do with still. No one seems to be able to figure this out for me. I remain stuck in limbo...confused.

Halloween costume hint #1

Something that is girl oriented only.

This was slightly disturbing

I recently ordered this book from Amazon because I like Angus Oblong and his short 6 episode cartoon stint that ran earlier this year. I was shocked that for a "children's scary book", emphasis on CHILDREN'S, it talks about susie getting a tingling in her v***** when she sees her crush. Does anyone else find this sorta offensive...

To pay or not to pay

So I have this leftover money from my birthday from my generous father, that I have been trying to save for a much desired trip to Disneyland with the boy who has no money and can't go for probably 10 years at this rate OR for emergencies. Disneyland may be subject to qualify as an emergency at a later date. However I keep looking at my credit card and I am tempted to make a huge payment ($1000) and almost pay it off. The downside is that if I run into trouble and have an almost payed off card I will be tempted to start using it like crazy, hence ending up with a huge balance again. Help!

Not a bunny

I feel like an easter egg today. Fushia/magenta hair with pink barettes...what was I thinking? No this is not part of the Halloween costume.

No yay for me

I did it again...I decided I need to get back into exercising and have gone rollerblading once since the infamous accident. It happened in April and the doctor said no exercise for 8 or 9 months. Last time I went was a few days ago and I had a fence mishap. So yesterday I went for an hour in an attempt to get back in shape, release stress and get some adrenaline going. Everything started out fine...I went down one pathway and rather than attempt the bridge I bailed on last time...I can back the same path. I then crossed the safe bridge and went down another path, turned around and came back. With my car in sight and an experience of safe rollerblading almost behind me I crossed back over the safe bridge, holding onto the railing like a pathetic beginner. I daintily picked up my skate to cross the metal grate connecting the bridge to the pavement and was almost home free. I then felt gravity pulling me down. I had tripped on the grate and went plummeting toward the ground. I scraped my hands and my right knee pretty bad, not to mention damaged my ego and embarrassed myself in front of 10-15 someodd exercisers who proceeded to ask me if I was ok. If you have ever rollerbladed you know that being on your knees makes in impossible to get up. I had to roll over on my butt and drag myself up using the chainlink fence. I somehow hit my head and have a large lump, luckily not noticable on my right temple. I sheepishly excused myself to the onlookers by saying, "I haven't done this in a year and I was expecting that display of ungracefulness. I broke my pelvis and now have to reIearn this stuff." I think I will look into that helmet now.

Yay for me

I have completed my Halloween costume...you all play the guessing game and then I'll tell you what it is. This is an attempt to make something not exciting more exciting.

Say what?

Did you know that Tuna, as widely believed, does NOT in fact grow on trees in those little cans. I KNOW. Let me tell you my friends, I was shocked and amazed that those little cans are fishy tins: Poor fishies that were caught by nasty hooks and nets and chopped up. I am going to go mourn now for those that have so tragically given their lives.

On a similar note...Honey does not come from bears, which is rather misleading considering the packaging. Apparently some Winnie the Pooh character started it all. But Honey in fact comes from bees. I assume there are specialists who milk the bees although I can not be qouted on that. Science lesson is now over kids.

Too Busy for Slacking

I do not like training for new stuff. See normally I do my fair share of work and then some, surpassing the other brown nosers for the official brown noser title each day...and then I have time for email and talking and reading needless amusing crap...or....er...I mean cool stuff that passes the time and makes me smile like a giddy idiot. Now today I have been in training for yet another task all day long so that now I have 3 jobs instead of 1. And I know you all will not believe this but it is for the same amount of pay. Yes out of the goodness of my heart I like more work than I can handle...or would like to handle. Yeah that was sarcasm.

Genius Comic

Max Cannon is the strangest funniest man ever.
Oh yeah...I learned how to link and do headlines...pretty sad I am happy about this.

I want to go rollerblading today but it is heat stroke weather out there. Us Lily White Assed office people type are used to air conditioning at a standard 72 degree setting. Oh yeah and I am scared to rollerblade because last week the fence attacked me. It also embarrassed me as people saw me plummit toward, I mean get sucked in by the possessed and evil fence and get wedged under the loose chain link. This was not comedy people. This was a cruel and usual happening in my accident prone world. I am thinking of buying a helmet. Oh wait. No I'm not.

I feel like I am slowly sinking in Jello. Stepped in and felt my legs wobble, settle in like suspended fruit. Penetrating down thru the gelatin mass as it slurps around me and swallows me up. Trying to keep my head above but still falling in slow motion. Trapped, staring out from this jiggly prison. Even worse, it is Strawberry Jello. Where is Bill Cosby when I need him.

I went to my much anticipated Ben Folds concert at the Fillmore in San Fran last night. His opening guy, Citizen Cope was just incredibly awesome. Lots of unplugged vibes and a very Led Zeppelin sound at times. His album comes out in January I believe. Anywho Ben Folds was awesome and I was amazed that his following has gotten so much bigger. The three shows I have been to before, the crowds were fairly small and the shows weren't sold out. It was just a very feel good time and I was almost at the stage, very good spot for watching the master at the piano. I still have Tori Amos and Weezer to look forward to next month as well. Might pick up some tickets for Ozomatli too. I am concert hungry lately. Just found out Bernadette Peters is going to be in San Fran and all my nerdy high school choir/theater friends came rushing back to mind. I don't think a lot of people ( well younger people) really know who she is but I remember seeing Into the Woods with her on PBS when I was a kid and I was hooked. So I am gonna have to track someone down who actually knows and likes her and see if I can get tickets.

I am not ready for this...

My pirate name is Red Anne Kidd: Passion is a big part of your life, which makes sense for a pirate. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!

I am not sure whether to laugh or feel offended by all the recent email jokes I am receiving. I know that humor helps us cope with the state our country is in, but at the same time I feel a little saddened at our attitudes and blind hatred. I do not claim to know enough about the Middle East and its people to make a concise stand or develop an appropriate viewpoint. I do know that there are plenty of innocent people there, people who in a sense want and feel the same thing as all people...basic needs of food, water, shelter, love, sense of belonging and sense of security. I also know that there is a certain mentality there that would not be easy to shed, being they have been taught the things they have been taught since day one. I am feeling very torn up and confused on all this. I am trying to keep in mind that this was a specific group, not a whole blamable country that did this to us. I want justice, and not to sound like an ignorant girl, but I think it was necessary to take physical action and exert some power on America's part. We can not be seen as weak, letting anyone who wants to come and terrorize us with no repercussion. At the same time there is no easy solution. I hate to think back on the things we have done to other countries (main one comes to mind is bombing Japan and I do realize what happened at Pearl Harbor but I just don't know if our retaliations are fair...is that the right word?) So I guess what I am trying to say is there has to be some happy medium. I watched a lot of the BBC when the attack happened on the 11th. They made a good point in saying America needs to reevaluate its relationship with other countries. I feel like at times we do consider our philosophies, government and way of living to be the judge-all that other countries should want to emulate. I wish there was some happy medium balance between the tree-hugging hippies who want to do nothing and the die hard militants who want to "bomb the shit" out of the middle east. Note to self: Do more research so as not to further confuse self.