Aw and Ew

We had the cutest day yesterday in Santa Cruz. We made a little picnic lunch and went up along the cliffs to Natural Bridges Beach, found a nice non-windy spot away from people and for a few hours just relaxed and talked and munched. We chased down a duck and her itty bitty baby ducks, trying to feed them crackers as they swam desperately away from us 2 scary monsters apparently. The Boardwalk was really fun too...not too crowded and not too cold. Bumper Cars ranked pretty high up there due to the fact that everytime I bumped into this little boy he would turn around with this look of surprise and then give me a dirty look. I thought by the third time or so he would get over the initial shock but no...and to look back and see my guy with his evil kinevil look trying to come bump me was too much. I think that was just the cutest date I have had in a long time.

On the ew side however, my roommate found where the flies are coming from. The pipe behind the toilet has a hole around it where it goes into the wall and they have been crawling out through there...hence after she sprayed the evil temple of the flies about 30 came crawling out and died on the floor. Thank god it isn't in my bathroom.This goes back to the theory that something is dead in the attic or wall and the mother of all flies laid eggs in it. She plugged up the hole in her bathroom and I am hoping called the landlord so we can have someone come take care of the dead thing wherever it is. I just don't want them finding a new way into the house. How disgusting huh? And these aren't tiny little flies. They are horseflies about the size of a quarter and buzz very nosily and scarily, not to mention they may or may not sting according to my roommate.

Huh?

Randoms......I saw Minority Report and Bourne Identity...both were rather good and will probably be added to the DVD collection when released. I think Minority was a little long and semi-drab to look at for lack of color...I really want to see The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys and Eight Legged Freaks though...

The boy and I are going to Santa Cruz tomorrow...50cent night at the Boardwalk was too appealing to pass up and I don't think I have been to the Boardwalk for 5 or 6 years. Not to mention both of us are jobless and have the time to run around and have fun in the sun while the money keeps dwindling away.

And to prove once again that I don't learn a lesson, I was out swimming on Saturday and rinsed all my sunblock off because my front side is now beet red and stingy. On top of me deciding to dye my hair red I now look like a big goofy tomato.

Speaking of goofy, I have been hanging out with Maria and have been cracking up every time I remember all the little side jokes we have going. I could list and explain but somehow without the context I don't see any justice being done so I will save those for now.
And in honor of Homer J Simpson I have decided my official rebel song is Uptown Girl.....ha ha ha....

Venting

Maybe when people say you shouldn't live with your best friend (of 9 years) they are onto something. The latest drama deals with my new guy. As in she doesn't like that he comes over and has now instituted a quiet after 10 rule. I am surprised it isn't a lights out rule. She complains that the talking and tv bother her and any other noise she might have heard. I suppose I can understand trying to keep it down but that is what we have been doing and she keeps complaining. Says it isn't fair that she has work in the morning and we keep her up. He offered to buy her a white noise machine (tis whirring thing that drowns out noise and helps people sleep) and I offered ear plugs to both she refused.

The thing is that her bf has his own place and while that is great that he NEVER comes here and she is there 3-4 nights a week, I think she wouldn't follow her own rule if he was over or they break up and someone new comes over here. My guy is almost an hour away in Berkeley so it isn't like I can go to his place every single time.

First thing this morning I get an email from her asking if he is staying the night tomorrow. She has been really anti social lately and elusive. Not to mention rude to my guy and my friends the last few times she has been social. I really don't know how to handle all this because it seems there is no pleasing her and I don't think it is fair I can't do what I want in my room. I pay equal rent. I know I need to talk to her about the rude comments lately because it embarrasses me and reflects back on me that I keep company like her. Normally when it is just her and I she is much more likable. I am just thinking that this guy is someone I would hope I will be seeing for quite some time and this issue isn't looking like its going to go away. Sigh......I feel like I have been reduced to a bad soap opera drama.

Lobster girl

So going to L.A. with my parents was weird. They are scared of traffic and just were annoyed and on edge the whole time. And Disney was packed which I am not used to since I normally go in the off season. And also there should be no children under 5 or children in strollers at Disneyland. Mothers obliviously wander around ramming peoples shins and ankles and should not have had children in the first place if they lack the common sense to watch where they are going. Besides I have no memories before I was 5 years old so parents aren't really obligated to do anything cool with kids til then....okay maybe that is a stretch but it sure would save money. Also Disneyland is very clean since the little litter scooper people run around all day making sure everything is spakly and the bathrooms are even impressively clean.

In other news, MTV recently shocked me with a decent line up of videos all at once. I got to see Miss Kelly Osbourne prance around , Eminem who I must admit I really am addicted to his new song, Days Go By with the awesome breakdancing guy and Moby's new one....Not a trace of Shakira! Whoo-hoo! I am really digging the new Corn Pops commercial with all the multiplying happy dancing cartoony guys. It is just too adorable.

Just saw Say Anything for the first time and have fallen in love all over again with John Cusack. I used to think Better Off Dead was my favorite but not anymore. Lloyd can come pursue this nerdy girl anytime he wants. I am not exactly sure how I had never seen it before, considering I am a big fan of cheesy 80s movies.

And sunburns suck. Especially non even ones that leave funny tans afterward. Like the circle where my bathing suit had a ring and the sun seeped in. My front side is still white while my back, arms and thighs are bright red. I will not being going out in public anytime soon.

Saturday wait, Sunday always comes too late

It is almost 1 in the afternoon and I have been sitting around in my underwear all day watching movies. I feel a little bit guilty of being lazy and needing to get a job. Yes still. Don't you wish you were me? Er....um.....maybe not...
I stayed at the boys place a few nights and think I am developing quite the sweet tooth for him. Or maybe its the delerium that ensues after getting almost zero sleep. I seemed to have forgotten how much I love this beginning stage when you stay up all night talking and giggling and watching cheesy movies.
I am also super duper excited about next week. I am driving to Yosemite to my parents monday and then tuesday-thursday we are going down to L.A. to see my psuedo sister and go to Disneyland. And friday when I come home I am going up to see Dealership play in the city.
Things with the roommates are a bit tying lately. I love living here but I am feeling like I need some alone time and somehow holing up in my room seems like it shouldn't be necessary. It is just that when my door is open I somehow end up having two people lying around my room and I can't really do what I want to do. The getaway is much needed. Oh yah...did I metion Disneyland???

Out of Control

So Saturday night I wandered over to Berkeley for a house party of a friend of a friend. (Technically it was almost a wake for this girl's cat who just passed away that she had for 19 yrs and only had 3 legs(sad and crazy.) Anyway it was a small fun little gathering, good food and drinks, music and conversation. Well there happened to be a neighbor of the crazy sort there. This girl had on her nice black shirt and skirt with running shoes. The girl was prepared to get her groove on and after drink 4 things started to get funky. Her and her male friend she invited kept busting out in an irish jig to 80s music. Then they started getting rather frisky, as in her moving his hand from her hip to her chest and he was going to town on her neck. She somehow got the idea that if she tried to get up on the rest of us we would give her dollars so she tucked the bottom of her shirt into the top, making a tiny little top and proceeded to grind her pelvis on anything moving or not moving in the room. It soon became a game where anywhere she went, everyone would migrate to the opposite room. I was attacked in the kitchen with a seductive hug and brush of hair followed by tummy rubbing before I could slide away to the living room. Another girl at the party as not so fortunate. Innocently sitting on the couch, the crazy girl cozied up to her and laid her head on her shoulder, rubbed her arm and then put her hand between her legs and started rubbing her thighs...innocent girl took quickly to the kitchen. After drink 6, crazy girl decided to take irish jig boy somewhere more private, apologizing if she went to far to most people there. It was a relief when she left but somehow I don't think I have giggled that uncontrollably and that hard for quite some time.

Baa-Baa

I feel rather sheepish...being as I am a girl and tend to stress needlessly over boy related things. So on Monday I dropped this boy off at the airport for a short fun Florida trip. He told me he would be back thursday at 10:30 and I offered to pick him up, so the plan was that he would call me to let me know if he wanted me to still pick him up or not. So I sat around last night figuring that he had to call me wednesday night because of the time difference and that his flight would be leaving early thurs morning. I even went as far as to argue in my head that the bars close at 2am which would be 11pm my time so I might get a late call from him. So no call. I got all stressed and whiny and pouty. I figured when he got in this morning I might get a call. He called a little while ago. He is still in Forida. His flight comes in at 10:30 tonight and he wants me to meet up with him and stay the night. All that freaking worrying and analyzing and stressing for nothing. I am officially a lame-o. It just seems totally unfair that girls are made like this and guys aren't. Girls sit around thinking about guys and getting all giddy and then disecting every word a guy says to her and what the hidden secret meanings are and when he said he wanted to hang out did he really mean he wanted to and when he said that I looked nice did he really mean my butt looked big and guys are basically thinking...mmm...beer.....

The same thing every time

Everytime I go to kickboxing I work up a pretty good sweat, so while I come home feeling all proud of myself and sore in a good way, I am rather the stinky girl. This is not a good thing when you are dragged by fellow kickboxing roommates out to dinner (shame after working off all those calories) or dragged grocery shopping or to get gas. So when I come home I am still in said stinky state. But the longer I wait before jumping in the shower the more I am able to jusify that the sweat is dry and not nearly as stinky and that sleeping is a better option and waiting to shower til morning. Then I get that feeling where it is like I can't sleep knowing I didn't brush my teeth and I start to feel guilty if I don't shower, that the stinky dried sweat will crawl off my body and contaminate my sheets for every night thereafter if I don't shower. This is a major dilemma. Also sweat makes me break out sometimes hence giving another reason to shower. It is just that after the shower I feel like someone injected me with caffeine and I am wide awake. Sigh...to be so lucky as to worry over the trivial....I am off to shower.

Running to stand still

On a busy city street, steam rising from sewers below, taste of something tainted on the breeze, cars whirring by, horns honking, lights flashing, people bustling, shouting, jostling shoulders impact my body, shoving, pushing, stumbling, cold biting wind picking up, squinting to deter dirt and dust, it is all I can do to remain stationary. Zoom out...a girl, standing still in solitary, eyes squeezed tightly shut, noises falling on deaf ears, trying not to wake up in a world that just keeps moving around her.

Too much tube

Ok so the other night I am almost positive I wasn't dreaming. There was a commercial for some restaurant/fast food with Kermit and Miss Piggy. And Miss Piggy said she wanted 3 bacon/sausage/slash pig product meals....and asked Kermie what he wanted. That is really disturbing to me that Miss Piggy is gonna scarf down on her relatives and someone deemed this a good ad campaign.

So wait...

Does anyone actually watch Battlebots? That show irritates me beyond belief. Comedy Central usually
has quality programs. This just seems like a waste though. I never liked remote control cars of trucks when I was little and the appeal of grown men beating up eachothers remote control creations just seems really lame-o.

And then there are the Pantene ads that air during every freaking commercial break. Like men who watch Battlebots actually want to wash their hair with girly pantene.I always used to mock advertising and their wasted attempts on trying to convince me to buy their products. And then I went to Target and scoured the shelves for Pantene. I will not however submit to MC Hammer's bad acting and pathetic loan company...
Guy: But why are you in my toolbox?
MC H: Cuz I'm the Hammer baby!

The worst part was when they closed their eyes

Saw About A Boy yesterday....what a great flick...the giggle factor was through the roof. I can't help it. I am the biggest sucker for Hugh Grant and his silly weird facial expressions. I think I am also a very sappy girl who likes stories about people changing and opening up and all that cheesy stuff. Plus being the nice gal I am I always feel bad for the nerdy misfit characters and get all excited when they come into their own and are still dorky but in a cool way. Not that I was ever uncool. But I can see how it might be if someone was....yah....

Ok enough of that

Here I am. Unemployed and relaxing and strangely satisfied with myself...been doing a lot of me things and spending me time with who else but me.
Although I do feel rather boring since there aren't that many exciting things going on in my life. I have memorized all the daytime programming....If that isn't an accomplishment I don't know what is.

To help with the wallowing

The Top 8 (just because) songs that are not helping my mood

1. Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me ~ The Smiths
2. All By Myself ~ Sheryl Crow
3. Only Time ~ Enya
4. Sometimes ~ No Doubt
5. Always Getting Over You ~ Angela Ammons
6. Sway ~ Bic Runga
7. Famous Blue Raincoat ~ Leonard Cohen
8. Trouble ~ Coldplay

Its like that, ya know?

I so feel like Bridget Jones sitting on the couch crying and singing All By Myself.

And so it goes, and you're the only one who knows

And now it is over...Somewhat rattled and sad...stronger in the end...and always...on my own

Mopey, dopey little me

I want someone to pick me up like a wet rag and ring me out. Help me rid myself of thinking, and lingering thoughts, paranoid assumptions...

The boy and I are seeing each other again. I am stressed. I just feel really sensitive and paranoid about how he feels for me. I am constantly upset lately over so many things in my life and this on top of it is really bothering me. It used to be that he was all lovey and into me and reassuring. He was my backbone and my support and I knew he was there for me and wanted to be there more than anything. And now I feel like it is a chore for him. He doesn't call as much and has admitted that things feel weird. He wasn't counting on getting back together and things are taking getting used to. I am only getting half of him. The negative comments and lack of reassurance that he does want to be around me are missing. I want him to work at things as much as I feel I have been lately. I know I can't change the fact that we took a break for awhile, but I can give effort now and I want to. I really do want things to work. And sometimes they seem like they are. But right now I keep getting this feeling that I am being set aside a bit. Maybe there are bitter feelings. Maybe there are scared feelings of giving and getting hurt again. But I can't make this work on my own. I need help. And right now I need someone, namely you, to hold my hand and be with me. All of you.

Oh baby

Look at monkey faced George Bush breaking a sweat. Work it baby, work it!

So sad

There is something utterly pathetic and pity worthy about eating yogurt with a plastic fork.

I'm so cool I impress myself

So I am not all done but I think I am slightly proud of myself for figuring a few things out and changing things around. Do we like? Someday I aspire to have a shortcake-a-riffic site that I design all on my own. But for now....that'll do Amber, that'll do.