And we shall call this place Shang-ri-la

Well almost perfect now that I am actually moved in.
I have come to realize that moving is not fun. In fact it very well may be the opposite of fun. I hired movers to handle things, but then found out they won't move tvs or stereos or computers or anything that isnt sealed in a box or furniture. Which left me and my parents, who had driven up from Yosemite to help a little, with a ton of leftover crap that took another 4-5 loads by car/truck.
So on the other down side, yes there was more than one...I lost my check card in the unloading process(2nd time in 3 months(do they make leashes for check cards?) and still do not have a working home phone since Friday when it was supposed to be working. In the 4 times I have moved and set up a phone line, every time SBC has had to come out to fiddle with the inside jacks, even though 7-10 days previously the tennant before me had a working line. Somehow in that vacant period the apartment went rampant and gnawed through the jack wiring to ensure that I pay $160 to the SBC thieves. This time the complex is reimbursing me at least.
On the good side, yes I admit there is one, it is very quiet there concering neighbors and residents. There is a bit of traffic that is semi-loud but I am getting used to it already. It appears there are no children or loud obnoxious partying types anywhere near me. I also have my own washer and dryer, huge closets and air conditioning. There is also basketball courts, a huge swimming pool, jacuzzi and BBQ area and a fitness center. I am very thrilled with the location and feel or "aura" as new agers would call it so far. You could almost say I've moved on up to the east side. Except it is the west side and it isn't a high rise apartment, nor is it located in the sky.

Stamp of approval

I took my main squeeze up to Yosemite to meet the rents last sunday. Went really really well. They adore him. I'm thrilled but I already knew they would anyway. We wandered around the new casino up there and my parents bragged about how they dress up on friday nights and go play the 2 cent machines...they are high rollers.
Anywho as we were leaving to drive back my mom was washing my windows off to clear the windshield of the dead bug remains to make way for all the new ones. She then proceeded to spray main squeeze with windex when his back was turned and go into hysterical giggles. We are not quite sure what overtook her. She also found my first business cards rather amusing too and couldnt talk for a few minutes from laughing so hard. I think she might have drank too much at dinner. Main squeeze was relieved that the pressure was off him to make an impression.

Un-freakin-believable

I stopped by Marshall's on my way home last night in a loss of self-control. Little did I know how much I was going to be punished for my lapse of willpower. I found this suede jacket in a different color from the one I already own and knowing how much my friend adores, it called her to inform her. She asked me to get it for her and considering the low cost I'd be an idiot not to get one too! So I go to stand in line and expect the normal 10 minute wait since its always crowded there with little help. There are 3 people in front of me. One lady takes about 5 minutes to do her return. Next is yuppie lady. Yuppie lady is wearing a skimpy tank top with her fake tits proudly protruding. She has on very short shorts with unfashionable sandals. She looks expensive but upon closer inspection is a wannabe. She dumps out 2 bags and about 10 receipts and tells the clerk she wants to return everything and buy back all but 2 items on a different credit card. Considering her oodles of receipts this takes near 30 minutes!!! Most of the stuff is worth 6 or 7 bucks and most she has taken the tags off and saved them. How freaking shady and ridiculous! She has to put them on a different card? Maybe if she hadn't wasted all that money on tits...I was furious and everytime I went to switch lines they either closed the register or more people came so it seemed safer to stay where I was. I would have left had it not been for telling my friend I'd get her the jacket. So if you ever have a notion to return crap only to buy it again, you better hope you aren't in front of me. I was so tempted to yell at her. And to top it all off when she was done she went looking for more crap. Oh yah, I had to pee really bad which didn't improve my mood.

Last Chance

Sometimes when you have road rage all you need to sooth it away and put a smile on your face is Donna Summer's greatest hits.

Monkey see monkey do

I went to the grocery store to get my much needed fix of Jelly Bellies and stepped into the 10 items or less line. Seeing as I was yapping on my phone I didn't realize the lady in front of me had more than 10 items. As I hung up I heard her telling the clerk she was being rude. The clerk told her that she wasn't being rude but she'd have to go to another check out. The lady then replied that she had 2 babies and she didn't notice. (Aforementioned babies were piled in the cart under mounds of baby food.) Baby lady proceeded to get more and more pissed off as she threw items back in the cart, narrowly missing precious babies. She then called the clerk a cunt and again repeated she had 2 babies and she was reporting the clerk for being rude to the manager.
Seems ironic to use such fowl language and have such a temper when you have, not one but two babies.
Use birth control people.

Freaks in the park

So my friend decided she wanted to see Jennifer Hanson play downtown. I am not a country fan but have been getting dragged to these redneck fests anyway. I am that good of a friend.
We get there and sit down and right away things got crazy.
In front of the stage is a place for people to dance. This is intended to people who actually know how to dance and are pleasant to look at. The first weirdos were a toothless older woman and a very old man who although not together were getting pretty freaky. Then along comes a mentally challenged man who had some weird object he used as a microphone with way too much zealous, performing for everyone and trying to detract from the stage which he ran back to every few minutes to high 5 the singer.
Enter the token lesbians. One huge and one stick thin dressed like a boy with a shaved head. Said huge lesbian proceeded to take off her shirt and sit on the stage in a bra with her belly hanging over. She then dumped out her purse on the floor and stick thin lesbian began throwing everything back in. Mostly condoms, which lesbians don't need FYI. They then went back and forth to the free ice cream booth about 3 or 4 times, and then persuaded innocent bystanders to go to the booth for them after they were banned. Next she harrassed some teeny boppers who let her use their cell phone and she made probably 3 or 4 calls to god knows who. Are cell phones the new cigarettes?
Huge lesbian then peed her pants at some point which embarrassed me since she had no embarrassment of her own. Believe me it was pee as it was only down the insides of the thighs and wasn't there previously. Shame!
Then along came normal buff work out guy. Although he appeared normal and had a shaved head, nice clothes and defined physique, he proceeded to "2 step" around the dancing area alone in a big square, tapping his heart intermittedly as if he was at a punk show. Huge lesbian handed him a condom which he pocketed as he 2 stepped by.
Toothless lady reappeared with a weird older chubby man who had an old fashioned mustache with wax that curled at the ends.
The bands weren't all that great and had to deal with homeless looking people milling around on the steps right below them staring or eye oogling their breasts. It was a sad day for the park and as usual a giggle fest for me.

Annually idiotic

Every year it seems I don't follow my own advice about wearing sunscreen in the effort to have my white socks discernable from my legs. This year it happened at the beach. I went on saturday for a few hours, didn't realize I was burning. By saturday night I could barely walk. I have been using aloe vera like crazy and sleeping with wet towels on my legs but I am still all stiff and my stubble hurts really bad. I feel like a big red penguin waddling around.

In other news, Seabiscuit was the best movie I have seen all year. And I think I am turning into a baseball fanatic. Saw the Giants last sunday and the A's monday and then again sunday, bringing home my Ramon Hernandez bobblehead after yelling at many young children who tried to beg and plead that I should give them mine since they didn't get one. Losers! Tell your parents to drive faster.

Past professions

So the boy and I were sitting at In N Out last night, him eating, me drooling, wanting to be eating but regretedly being full. And then this big homeless guy comes in, shuffling with a cane, barely moving. As he slowly moves past our booth the boy gets this disgusted look on his face and motions down. The homeless guy had on sandals with big swollen blackish purplish feet and long toenails hanging over his sandals. After the man is in the bathroom the boy says to me, "Ew they looked like big beets." My response is, "Huh beets?" And he says, "Ya know when you pull them out of the ground and they are all dirty and stringy." To which I smugly reply, "I guess you never mentioned your childhood beet farming days to me before."
Two minutes later he told me I had something in my nose. Something meaning a booger, which sent me flying to the restroom to find absolutely nothing. His little payback I suppose.

The missing son of the ambiguously gay duo

I was sitting at Cucina Cucina the other day with Maria, waiting for our food, when we glanced over and noticed that the table next to us had a little asian boy in a Superman outfit, cape and all. The waiter walked by and somehow the kid's cape had fallen on the floor so the waiter picked it up and gave it to little-mister-I-am-4-years-old-and wear-halloween-costumes-all-year. The little boy proceeded to turn around in his chair as the waiter walked off, close his eyes, and start chanting with his lips puckered, "Gimme a kiss. Gimme a kiss. Gimme a kiss."

Maria and I nearly died laughing.

You

I remember you, the boy I never knew. You hid your black book away, but all you secrets spilled out one day. You thought I was naive and that I'd never leave, but I'm doing better now than ever and it didn't take that long to grieve. I didn't know you were playing wicked games, I never got the rules, you tried to push me down and make me another one of your sad melodramatic fools. Things are different now babe, if you gave me your heart I'd toss it aside. Bottom line you need to learn is this girl has way too much pride. I better not see you face come around anymore; the only greeting you'll be receiving is the slam of the door. I'm not your baby girl like I was before, and if you finally are going to shed a few tears go back to the arms of one of your precious whores. Your persistent calls are unwelcome, your pleas and attempts unrecognized. You only want what you'll never have so stop your pathetic tries. You practiced all your lies through your plastic smile, told me what I wanted to hear, enticing me to stay awhile. Well this girl is seeing clearly now boy, your performance deserves applause, but your kitty won't be purring for you anymore, she’s ready to attack, she’s already bared her claws. Put your tail between your legs and run away like the dog you are. When people ask what’s left of you I'll point to my heart and show them this insignificant scar. You thought you broke my spirits and left me here to die, so let’s leave it at goodbye; I've no more tears left to cry.

A bored day of transferring emotion to paper

Your teeth scrape against my bones, tearing away my flesh, my delicate skin, leaving me naked and vulnerable, shivering, a skeleton with a half intact heart, its rhythmic beating slowing by the minute. Every time I let you in the pain is exactly what I expect. An eternal optimist turned pessimist in matters only pertaining to you. Ever since I met you everything seems to have paled in comparison to what I thought you were offering me, to what I thought you could give me. Like Narcissus drawn to a mirror, your image takes precedence over the love I so uselessly try to give you. My summer feels like winter without you. It rains everyday you give me false hope, like a storm cloud that has settled over me to mock me, constantly taunting me with what I wanted but couldn’t have. I've found sunshine elsewhere but it just isn’t as bright. Your fire left me burnt and scorched to my core but I felt alive, with a hunger just to be next to you. I willed myself to let you in time after time, needing to let you fill me up after it seemed that every ounce of you had finally drained from me. It's sick in a way but I'm addicted to letting you devour me whole.

Simplicity

I've neglected you for quite some time. My nicotine addiction is the drama I wallow in. Drama masks other issues. Deeper issues that are beyond fixing. Issues with no solution, at least not pleasant ones. Solutions that close in on me like malicious walls thirsty to suffocate me. Emotional hurt that no one ever warned me about somehow took hold of my life. My mom always told me to only care as much as the other person cares. Like one has control over feelings. Like the elusive on/off switch exists and is easily accessible. And I wonder if I could be blissfully happy without conflict, without confusion, without self imposed obstacles.
Simplicity- so true to definition. You offerings are of equal comparison to myself, unselfish, sincere. I'm staring through my peephole. Unsure if I should open the door of opportunity. Hesitant of the unknown, history telling me I crave complexity. My sensible mind telling me this is what I deserve. My heart, ever unphased, lacking memory of previous aches, not quite agreeing so eagerly. At some point I took too literally the phrase, “Something worth having is something worth fighting for." Perhaps we get a break once in awhile and we receive an effortless gift. I'm not quite sure if the door says to push or pull. I sigh deeply and lean, hoping for temporary support. I want to breathe easy.
So simplicity, I resolve to this: take my hand and gently guide me, let me lead you at times or give me the satisfaction of thinking I am leading. Be patient with me and amuse my expectations as best you can. I have never been one to intimately know simple. But I'm willing to take a few steps, open the door with conviction and begin a journey, an expedition with you simplicity. I surrender just don't let me glance back at familiar complication.

Things are sooo yay right now

So all the sudden after a year on and off of being mostly unemployed, I have 2 awesome jobs, one of which pays really well and will be fulltime soon so I can work 5 normal days instead of 6 long ones. I just applied for an awesome apartment all by myself and I have found the cutest boy.
I don't know how life turned around sooo fast within basically a week or two. I am not complaining though. I think I may have to buy myself some ice cream.

Also I have fallen in love with old movies at the Stanford Theater...and Cinequest is gonna be downtown san jose soon too. But first and foremost I need to see Old School. Not anywhere near Film Noir or Indie but it looks soo funny. If I wasn't in love with Kattan, I would so be married to Ferrell. Or at least be his super funny goofy mistress girl.

Not ha ha funny

So I saw The Hours last night and was dissapointed. It basically was a movie thats overall message was "Life is life." I got the deeper undertones and all that but I walked away unimpressed and have no desire to see it again. Depressing.

Joe Millionaire and Bachelorette were really funny though. Evan is sitting there talking about how this girl is so great and sincere and might be the one....and it flashes to her saying how he isn't intelligent or cultured and isn't really her type...but she could get used to the lifestyle...and the Mellisa girl......pure comedy......"it was so romantic when we were sitting on the beach as the sun setted." Setted?????????? Ha ha....or when Evan says that keeping his secret of being a poor ass guy "eats his brain out."

And then on national TV the bachelorette talks about "trying out the goods" and sleeping with the guys. Somehow regardless that I think women should do what they want......on national tv, after 3 or 4 dates to be advertising that you need to sleep with a few men to choose the best one......seems rather tacky....but then again the show really isn't advertised as a high class production.

Living shouldn't be called living when it's really only half alive

How is it that a person with no money and nothing to do has developed a bad habit, almost as if the little credit card demons came in during the night and superglued it to my fingers and then left me little notes all over the house that say, "You need new shoes." "You poor thing; you have nothing to wear." "Go shopping. It will make you feel better."
It is sooo pathetic. I try to occupy myself with jobhunting and reading and boring daytime tv and/or Dvds that the credit card demons approved as necessary investments. I am trying to exercise more but the weather and lack of daylight hours aren't really permitting. I need a good kick in the ass. And the willpower to cut the credit card or at least leave it at home.

This is my life

I think I hate men...and unemployment and moving, and psycho creepy backyard peeping toms that won't go away.
Life is so boring lately and I never get to do anything fun and exciting cuz I ain't got no cash flo.
I could tell a tale of a poor girl whose life could be a sad tragic comedy but that would probably be boring too, although based on truth. Hey maybe I could be a reality show and turn my drama and bad luck into profit...hmmm.
Oh yah, I am so auditioning for American Idol...there are some crappy ass people on there and I have a pretty good voice in comparison...and I can prove it if u are willing to give me your email...also thus proving I am a dork with no life who records herself singing on her pc.

P.S. I am an optimist damn it!

Boooooooooooo

So my new job sorta sucks and I don't think I am gonna last there..plus it is less pay than what I wanted and the commission is impossible to acheive....I was making almost as much on unemployment which sorta sucks bigtime. Now I am stuck cuz if I want to look for a new job I can't really get time off for interviews and whatnot. Sigh....there are a few positions I would LOVE to switch over to but there aren'y openings right now...I think I will complain for a nother week or so and stick it out,besides I don't have a choice, I can't leave til I find a new job.

In other news I am dying to see Eight Legged Freaks and might be going to Hawaii with the cute bf guy I have within the next month or 2 if things work out....I'm going to Hawaii!!!! YAY!!!!! If you don't watch crank yankers you are missing out....

Also

I start my new job Monday! Yay!

Not a fan

Where to start...driving can be cool sometimes...when someone else is behind the wheel and I get to be DJ. Driving is not cool however, when you are driving along between 75-80 mph in the fast moving carpool lane and suddenly everyone is breaking and getting over to the right and all the sudden you find yourself tailgating a big ass lincoln, with a little old lady peering over the steering wheel driving 30 mph. IN THE FAST LANE! I felt bad and all but mostly just irked that people that are that clueless and blind are allowed to drive. I wanted to honk at her but feared I would send her into cardiac arrest if I scared her.

I also hate driving because it gets revenge on me. The boy recently spent between 600-700 to have his windshield sealed and re-fiberglassed and whatnot. 20 minutes after driving it out of the shop a gravel truck in front of him threw out a ton of rocks and cracked his brand new expensive windshield. He now has to take it in and spend another 150-200 to get another new windshield. As this was rather funny I couldn't help but laugh at his sucky situation and bad luck. Today while driving down the freeway my friend and I heard a popping noise and lo and behold my windshield now has a medium sized crack on the passenger side which by law of all things shitty will most likely be expanding soon. To whoever said there is no such thing as Karma, don't try driving on any roads in any vehicles with windshields.

I'm so excited and I just can't hide it

I might have a job starting monday if my phone interview goes well tomorrow....Just talked to a friend who hooked me up and it turns out the job is something very familiar and right by my house. I am just super duper excited to join the world of the living again....or um working..or something.

Last night I went swimming after kickboxing and discovered where all the white trash has been hanging out. There were little girls with no tops on and scary people in black smoking pot by the hot tub, followed by a couple having sex in the pool next to a group of very obese, loud and rude people who kept cannonballing over my head and bumping into me, along with a group of very dirty grannies who were drunk and asking innapropriate questions. All in all it was one of the funniest nights I have had in awhile.

Saw Men In Black II today which was ok I guess although I am very dissapointed Johnny Knoxville's part was so small. I went mostly to get out of the heat since we have no ac at home and the highlight was the LOTR 2 trailor that just looks completely amazing.